THE HOLIDAYS - A BOO-HOO FREE ZONE!

Yep, it's that time again, the HOLIDAYS.  For some people it really is a happy time, all that celebrating, getting together, exchanging gifts, spending time with your significant other snuggled up in front of a crackling fire.  If you have a crackling fire of course, but snuggled up somewhere.  Perhaps wearing Santa hats...you get the picture.....LE ROMANCE!  But alas.....there is a gigantic (no seriously, gigantic) number of people who find themselves single and sad at the holidays.

Now the single part is one thing...the sad part? A completely different story. I spent 10 Xmas's alone in a stretch at one point. Sure there were some dalliances in between, but when it came down to the crunch and the mistletoe was hanging.....I was solo with no Shite in Whining Armour! So you're single and feel like a loser. STOP IT NOW! Being single is not a punishment, although sometimes we feel as though it is. Why? WHYYYY??? Why can't we find somebody? What is WRONG with us?

  The holidays seem to really distort the negative connotations of being alone but my Lovelies I promise you, it does NOT have to be that way.  We tend to forget our choices.  Our state of mind IS always at our command you know.  My mother has a saying 'it's all in the way you hold your mouth'......which is very profound if not somewhat bizarre.  I'm always saying what you project is what people see, but there's a version of that which is projected INWARDS.  If you've decided it sucks to be single at the holidays then guess what?  It will.  You HAVE the choice.  We tend to lose the plot at times, forgetting the value of our lives and our time.  This is not a rehearsal, it's the real thing.  Every day matters, you do not have an endless supply.  Glomming about moaning and wailing about how lonely you are, or that there's nobody out there for you, or that your hymen may grow back.......WASTED!  The reality of that is it is total self-indulgent rubbish.  Okay, okay....sure I've done the glomming and the moaning and wondered at the state of said hymen......but you must not allow yourself to drown in this pit of despair.  A moment here or there......a passing thought, 'oh wouldn't it be nice to have some hunky fella to buy hideous willy sweaters for'.....but then it is imperative you shake it off!  Okay so you don't have a partner, mooning about it changes nothing and makes you less attractive to any potential yummy blokes that could be lurking around the next corner.

The holidays are a happy time.  They simply are and it is your duty and obligation to yourself to make sure YOUR holidays are exactly that.  YOU deserve the happiness and the enjoyment of this special time.  So bloody what if you are alone?  You have family, you have friends, you have pets, you have your shoe collection......relish these things!  Be kind to yourself, show yourself a good time.  Watch 'Love Actually' over and over.  The best possible thing you could do about the hunt for Prince Charming?  Forget about it.  Refocus your energies INWARDS.  Love YOU....and if that requires batteries from time to time.....mazeltov!  Do fun things, be with the people you love, they are your significant others.  Spoil yourself!  You'll hear some twit raving about the spectacular diamond heart shaped necklace her 'Hunnie' got her for Xmas.....yeah yeah yeah....blah blah blah.....WHATEVERRRRR........get YOU something spectacular!  A spay day.  Manicures and Pedicures. That flaming red, black, gold, turqoise, silver, skull head Ed Hardy purse that calls your name softly while you sleep!  Pay for that Yoga course.  From you to you. 

And what if you just don't want to participate?  You're over it, you'd rather set your hair on fire than be here for Xmas or New Years?  Fine.  LEAVE!  Go somewhere else!  The essential thing to remember is YOU are the one in charge of either making it a lovely holiday and building happy memories, or humping about a proper Poopie Pants.  Your call missus.

 I'm not kidding.  Make a decision and follow through.  L'Oreal knows.......YOU'RE WORTH IT.  Unless you don't think so, in which case......it's gonna be glum chum.  Please don't allow that. 

And if you need a reality check?  Go to a soup kitchen at Christmas.  Volunteer New Years Day at a homeless shelter.  THAT will put things back into perspective pretty damn fast my little Cocopuffs. 

Misery loves company......stay clear of those negative energy suckers that will only bring you down.  That's THEIR problem, not yours...you will rise above that tripe.  Go where it's fun.  Go to the places that make you happy. Do the things that make you smile. Be with the people that make you laugh.  DON'T drink yourelf into a stupor and wake up with a pinched nerve and chocolate cake vomit on your flannel nightie.  Oh and just a word of advice, take a pass on the glittery, sequined holiday G-Strings as well....nothing says Happy New Year like a hangove and a rubbed raw anus.  Not so much.

It's the holidays - BE HAPPY - that's an order.