My inner chick is wearing high heels - A LITTLE SNEAK PEAK AT THE BOOK!

Although a fun title - really nothing at all to do with this post!  HA!  Just keeping you on your toes my Lovelies!  So here's the skinny; in the midst of moving and packing and using my super power (organizing) to its fullest....I find myself spread a tad thin.  So I thought hey....how about throwing around some excerpts from my book????  Perhaps ya'll (and that would be my inner Oprah) would fancy a gander?  Let's see.....what chapter......I KNOW!  We'll do a little smidgen of 'Datinig' and then perhaps even a little smidgen of the highly controversial 'SEX' chapter later on!!! OOOOooooooooh aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! 
Here you go - enjoy!
(did you walk your 12 minutes today????)
(drink your water????)
(smile while putting on your blusher???)

DATING

First dates. Number one rule that must always be obeyed; do not get legless drunk. I don’t think we really need to go into the why and wherefores here do we missus? No we don’t.


First dates should be in a neutral territory, somewhere comfortable both physically and mentally. Going zip lining on your first date - a bit much. Having said that if you’re a real outdoorsy, athletic type who would love that experience and so is the guy, then go balls to the walls! It’s just the type of thing that throws all the contrived rubbish away and you’re both pretty much yourselves. I remember a chap that I really fancied finally asking me out. I was thrilled! Then he called me up and suggested we go to the Scandinavian indoor/outdoor baths for the day! I appreciated the fact that he’d put some thought into it, but getting into a bathing suit on a first date?? Way too much information for me! A first date is a daunting experience no matter what, it’s important not to add elements that will make it more so. Try to stick to comfort zones. Once you’ve established some camaraderie then off you pop to the Polar Bear Club!


Remember comfort begins with what you’re wearing. A first date is NOT the time to wear something that will have you yanking, limping, tugging, fidgeting or anything else that makes you look afflicted. Unless your first date is an aerobics class no gym clothes. You CAN pair some nice yoga pants with a pretty top of course, but you don’t want to look like an extra from the Jane Fonda Workout video. Contrarily swooping across a room dressed like one of the cast of Dynasty - not so much either. Dress the part and that part is you - back to being yourself. Think about where you will be and what you’ll be doing. If you’re sitting quietly somewhere then your clothes need to be cooperative in the sitting comfortably department. As a rule of thumb, it’s never a good idea to where something based on the certainty you’ll only be standing. Shit happens. What if you end up sitting? If you’re going to be walking, hiking, climbing then you know what you need to have on your feet. Teetering along painfully whimpering due to sky high heels will not have him down on one knee proposing. He's thinking 'HIGH MAINTENANCE' which is a term I will devote an ENTIRE blog on cause it gives me a big tail!!
Keep the lip gloss to a dull roar, you don't want to put the idea of Adult Film into his head just yet....I'm not saying never....just not first date!  Keep the jewelry down to a minimum.  Nothing too distracting. You want him focused on YOU not trying to apply the rules of physics to your gravity defying earrings. 

There's a taste for you today....more to follow.  In the meantime, while listening to the radio the other day, the Anouncer asked the following: Is it ok if the girl wants to pick out the engagement ring?  Huh.  Interesting question.  Where it all went to Hell in a handbag was when the ANOUNCER proclaimed this girl must be a 'high maintenance BITCH no it was NOT ok'.  Oh boy....we went there did we?  Oh I was pissed alright.  I hadn't even begun to ponder the question.....but the anouncer's dickhead opinion......not so much.  And what's up with the 'B-Bomb'???  I'm not a fan of that word and never will be, I don't even like it applied to the female dog it belongs to.  See here's the thing....there's no real equivalent for the boys.  If he says you're a bitch...you say...what?  Bastard?  He'll laugh.  No sting.  Jerk?  Too cute.  Asshole?  Nahh....he's probably heard it too many times and now thinks it's a compliment.  No real equivalent which takes it OFF the table. 
Picking your own engagement ring.  This Knuckle Head went on to say however that the guy in question who's fiancee wanted to pick the ring had never had any success buying her gifts.  He couldn't seem to get it right.  So I guess she's real nervous about a ring she's going to have on her finger for the rest of her life......I dunno......I'm not saying I'm for this.....I think if you're getting married then he should KNOW his fiancee's tastes.....but more importantly back in the real world....he should know enough to enlist the assistance of her closest friends!!  Hello?

Your thoughts.