UTTER NONSENSE - the dignified unemployed.

Utter nonsense would be the only way to describe that little episode.  So as you may or may not know I am currently considered 'unemployed'.  I was politely laid off a couple of months ago which felt like winning the lottery to be frank.  Wonderful opportunity, taking full advantage of it, nattering away with you lot every day yadda yadda yadda.  Now part of being unemployed often involves receiving unemployment - with me so far?  So I am one of those people who will receive said compensation.  Ultimately. 
During the last couple of months I had an 'Ah ha' moment (thanks Oprah) and realized I really really REEEEEEALLY wanted to become a massage therapist!  Oh yeah....big time....all kinds!  So off I went to research and sort myself out.  Done and done.  Know where I'm going, how much (not free that's for sure) and when.  Fabulous.  I then contact the unemployment people who have sent me several mystifying form letters, and encrypted secret agent type communication telling me all sorts of things I'm not really clear on.  One of them was 'Hey you unemployed person - take a course and we'll extend your benefits!'  Sounds reasonable.  Of course there are some restrictions - OF COURSE THERE ARE - something about not having collected in the last 10 years.....it's been 28 years since I collected so I'm good on that score.  And having contributed to unemployment insurance during that time.....oh yeah baby...in SPADES!  So I'm golden.  I call them.  hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha........ahhhhhh that was interesting.  I was told I had to go to the office to get the forms then meet with somebody to discuss. 
Righto, so today, off I pop to the office!  Not so bad, about 15 people waiting.  I had visions of 100's of people covered in cobwebs and long beards.  So I take my number, lucky number 14, they are now serving number 7, and sit down.  I of course have brought items to busy myself with so that I look important and terribly occupied at all times!  So what if it's my agenda and I'm writing a grocery list.  I wait 45 minutes which again, no cobwebs nor beards involved.  I'm okay with this so far.  I reiterate............SO FAR.
I sashay up to my woman who's waiting patiently behind her bullet proof glass cubicle.....I'm not saying it's actually bullet proof but it really looked it.  That's all I'm saying.  So I plaster on a big shit eating grin and say HELLO!  I believe she grunted.  Maybe.  Oh well.....I can see from her enlarged neck she's probably suffering with some thyroid issues therefore not feeling fresh as a daisy's ass today.  I launch into my explanation.  She squints back at me through slitted eyes....also looking rather puffy.....hmmm....perhaps a little liver malfunction.....she clearly needs more water and vitamins in her life....  So ANYWAYYYYYY.........she informs I need to fill a form and return the form and then make an appointment to see somebody.  But there's an SOP for this. Standard Operating Procedure my little Lamb Chops, SOP's......it goes like this:
1.  Take the form to fill out and LEAVE the building.  You actually DO have to leave with it, there will be no filling it out there, here's why,
2.  You cannot hand in your filled out form on the same day, you must come BACK with your form to hand in.
3.  Once you come back on  said different day and hand in your form, THEN you will be given an appointment on ANOTHER day to return once more to discuss!

Now is it just me or does this sound rather spastic??  I mean not such an enormous bother for me as I'm lucky enough to have a car and am able to trundle all over town at their behest.  I'm thinking what about the people who are taking buses or walking or what have you?  What a colossol pain in the sphynctre this particular SOP is!!!  Holy Crap!  Wait with a number for the form.  Leave to fill out form. Come back on different day to hand in form.  Get assigned appointment, come back on different day for appointment.  There is a minimum three day commitment to this endeavor!  So I in all my wisdomosity asked her why. 
She blinked.  Twice.  Then she looked at me as though I'd asked her to heave her monumental bottom onto her desk and dance the Hula.  In drag. 
She blinked some more and turned to the person working next to her and asked HER what the reason was......I'm thinking that mayhap nobody has put this question to them before judging from the apoplectic reaction.

I quickly decide NOT to alienate my Unemployment Clerk any further and tell her...it's OK...I'm sure YOU don't make the rules!  No worries!  See you tomorrow with my form!!

There's one woman who was mightily glad to see the back of me.  She actually mopped her brow as I walked away.  I waved a cheery good bye just to mess with her. 

Thought I'd share that little experience with you.
Good times.